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[printable version]
I can not define what I am. I can only express what and how I experience and feel.
How can I label this which is infinite and eternal, yet nothing as all things are changing, born only of the moment?
Yet if you would like me to describe what I feel - it is Love, and what I experience – it is Life. How I experience this is in great wonder and joy and a deeply satisfying peace in knowing myself as One with All. Some call this Enlightenment, some Divine Grace, some the luck of the draw. I call it the Bliss of Freedom because I am liberated beyond boundaries and the limiting concepts of time and space/place.
I have no need for anything – including a singular label – for I am everything and nothing. Therefore I am undefinable.
How can I even begin to explain this one's life when it is all that ever has been, is now and ever will be? How do I describe the indescribable or even offer a glimpse of that which is so magnificent it is beyond words?
My life is All life; and of course is held also in this world together in a field of reference to the journey of this body, persona and consciousness of one called Isira.
As it has been requested, I will do my best…
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With this life I have been immensely blessed. Every ray of sunshine and every bolt of lightning has been my joy. Every friend and every enemy my mother, my lover, my teacher, my brother. Every moment a Divine orchestration – a symphony of God’s creation.
This life from the start has been a conscious choice and creation in order to serve a great purpose. That is – to aid others in returning to Self, to Love, Truth, Joy and Liberation. For this I feel immensely Blessed beyond measure to be of such service. Here I must reiterate, as there is no beginning, the ‘start’ is only relative to this form identified as Isira, which incidentally is never the same either so I am giving reference to that which doesn’t actually exist and to that which is existing eternally. Mmmm…blessed is Divine dichotomy!
So, in reference, I chose to create elements of forgetting in order to experience and know how all of the above was lost. These elements were magnificent tools. Oh how I give thanks for this. For through this gift it is that I truly know and feel the apparition of each one’s bondage and suffering. And so it is that in order to remember our truth, our freedom, bliss and peace we must first know how it was lost.
I also chose to maintain extensive levels of awareness.
At the age of seven I watched the world pass by as we took long drives in the car. I was mesmerised until the apparition of parts moving within parts dissolved into the same point. A passing car broke the trance and (whilst still perceiving all in the same singular moment) I realised "wow…oh my….oh wow…it’s all me…everyone is ‘me’…we’re all ‘I am’. The same, yet different…wow how amazing…I am…all this…Gosh! Unending!"
My psychic abilities were so strong they gave rise to great fear and concern in many moments. Not to mention that I was ‘crazy’ because I talked (often in strange languages) to stars, plants, aliens and angels!
Was I actually creating everything? I wasn’t sure that I liked that idea when much of what I saw and foresaw was diametrically opposed to what I wanted for myself and all – love, peace and joy.
I came to understand to a large extent that I was creating as much as I was being created and the very creation itself.
It was not unusual for me to experience myself entirely as another being or essence ranging from void – nothingness, to rocks, oceans, creatures, people, the earth, angels, Buddha, infinite light, stars and exploding new worlds and galaxies.
I certainly had an issue with boundaries and limitation. My family knew all too well of this. Undoubtedly I was a rebel. Again this served as a great tool. I came to truly understand the law of cause and effect.
It was no surprise I was a hard case to work out. I displayed many extremes. I played with this in the world, watching like a child with a new game and how what I felt within affected everything around me. Undoubtedly thoughts were the very fuel for the fire that created my reality. Yet even amidst the chaos, within the core of my being, I knew nothing other than boundless love and infinite potential.
At twelve years old I consciously recognised with every ounce of my soul that I love all beings and creatures, great and small, with the same immense love. I wanted to heal the world. I knew I was going to be a "teacher". Of course, I am not really a teacher because there is nothing new. How can what already IS be taught? I merely help the process of remembering.
To many I appeared as an impetuous child with a vivid imagination and an unbending attitude as a ‘know all’. I really felt I had answers. I really could feel how ‘it is’.
When the world threw it all back in my face I ‘gave up’ many times and screamed abuse at the stars, to the beings and spirits that visited me – even the Angels, Lamas, Yogis and Light Masters for sending me to such a hostile place. How could I be meant to be here in this time and place – I demanded answers – when my love was so continually rejected. I wanted to go home, to be with those of light, love and union.
Life was an intense initiation, moment to moment.
Then I let go and just surrendered.
I chose to deepen my already existing knowledge and abilities and to seek opportunities to convey the depth of spirit within all things. My love and inspiration escalated.
At the age of eighteen, after a firm conviction to commit to a path of service for the love of all, I found myself in the physical presence of Lama Zopa. The Lama I had constant encounters with all my life within my ‘inner world’. I underwent an even deeper passage of initiation and high ascetic disciplines only to return to the ‘world’ at the age of twenty-three.
In the following years I deepened my offerings of service with love in action – deeply compassionate, patient and vigilant. My council was sought consistently by those seeking greater awareness, even at the young age of fourteen when I offered healing and clairvoyant services. This continued. I spread myself further afield offering meditation and yoga classes and talks for awakening consciousness.
I burst forward in ever greater states of Bliss and Oneness, so knowing of my path. I could no longer allow anything to inhibit my service. With great ease and non-attachment (yet not devoid of love and respect for all) I left behind all people and objects that no longer served for the higher purpose of all. Many times I still felt I was just way too ahead for the world, yet rested more and more into the knowing of all in its perfection.
Successive ’Awakenings’ into Self-Realisation catapulted me into greater depths of unmoveable Oneness between the ages of twenty-seven and thirty-one. Weeks were filled with tears of bliss and unending laughter. Just when I would feel there couldn’t possibly be more I would overflow into even greater joy and peace. I was in constant awe and amazement that the already immense measure of the bliss and joy could keep growing.
I exploded into the infinite field
of every form of creation
existing and returned to
One and zero
in the same instant.
Everything melted into ahhhhh…..The moments of the apparition of duality reduced more and more. This consciousness expanded and merged with all around…sound, light, space, form, love…all as Self. The bliss and peace stayed. This vessel filled to overflowing as Self entered the Eternal Fountain of Love.
Unending is this. All is fulfilled. Nothing more to seek. I am Being…Love…Joy…All…Now…ONE.
At thirty-seven now I know nothing other than this Divine service of the One, every moment devoted to all beings for peace, joy, love…Awakening.
With every breath, the life I am, I give to all. Like a cosmic mother – every being is caressed in the lotus of my mind, cradled in the rose of my heart.
All that I am is this that is.
My encounter with this is immeasurable love and willingness to serve for all that may choose to open their eyes, ears and mind to the Divinity within all.
I seek not to convince nor to prove but simply to share the greatness of this joy, peace and love.
Therefore only ask, and I shall give.
In truth of One great Life,
Isira
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